tired...

why....
i wish next bei zi be a boy!
i dont want be a girl!
girl have many problem....
girl like to think too much....
girl like ambil kira all the things...
girl like to keep all the things....
and dont want tell it out!!!
but boy....
boy of course will have problem....
but must less than girl....
boy wont think too much...
boy wont ambil kira too much....
boy will say it outt all the feel!!!!!!!!!

why girl will definitely different with boy.......?
i really really hope next bei zi be a boy!!!

girl have period.....
then will have pimples..
then will angry....
then cant control emotion....
women need to give born to baby....
pain!!!!
why men no need.....
T.T
women also will work....
but female energy why weaker than boy.....?

boy?
they wont have period....
less of them have pimples...
they no need give born to baby....
they no need pain!!!!
they can happy all the way.......!!!!!!!!!

unfair.....
really unfair....
i dont like.....
but i wont do change sex operation!!!
coz this is my parents give me de present.....
hehe.......
very mau dun oh....?
although now i cant find happiness in girl shen fen.....
but i hope i can find it one day!!

see....
i think i stubborn again....
i think i think too much again.....
i sms u.....
but u dont reply...
i think i annoy gua....
haiz....
today walk all the day...
unhappy..
so sms tell u....
want have ur talk...
but.....
no response....
maybe u busy.....
maybe u do not on the phone....
haiz....
hope u will reply me later lah...
coz....
can make me comfort...!

tis time back...
grandpa looks more worse by day n day..
now he scare 2 sit...
coz felt down b4....
when dad n aunts want he sit,
just sit,
he scare...
n he cry...
me...?
i just stand there...
dunno wat should help.....
n dunno how 2 help....
useless..
i just stand there...
never giv a hand...
coz..
really dunno wat should i help.....
i really useless....
see grandpa's emotion very serious...
but i cant help too.....
i just look...
uncles n aunts look like wan take money.....
they all pretend love grandpa,
actually wan money...
i hope tis all are fake!
not true!
coz tis all just guess...
no clues...
grandpa change...
really different if compare with b4...
pity....
now just wanna he sit down....
edi hard...
all aunts mujuk him very long time.....
but he just dunwan....
so stands for a long time..
yesterday abt half hour....
haiz...
wat should i do....??
i really useless....

cant find anybody to talk out my feel....
coz u all too busy...
i dunno busy wat...
coz i very free..

dad drive very fast...
n tindak lulu...
never thought our feel....
actually i very scare when he drive....
the speed very incredible...
hope wont hv next time lah...

haiz....
today suppose go sing k.....
but dunno why cancel...
haiz....
i edi think what i want to wear....
what i want to sing....
now all dream blown.....
bb.......
wu....
what can i do....?
wait next time lo.....
haiz....
recently very tired leh....
almost everyday go to school.......
go early....
back late.........
aiyo...
very sleepy...
but i still everyday play computer.......
next week exam leh....
havent touch the books yet....
although worry........
but...
still play!!
haha!
PLAY FIRST ma!!

tomorrow back kampung lol....
daddy promise bring us go eat many many delicious d food...
cant wait leh....!!
haha!!
although he promise,
but also dunno he will eat his words or not...
haiz....
men is like that de lah!!

we bcome better leh!!
feel great!!
but dunno in the future will remain constant or not.....
not safe de.....
but.......
i should appreciate now....
time is important for me..
aiyo...
say like that also lazy study....
=P
see ur profiles..
many new photos upload....
i remember i ask u to have pic together...
but u reject...
but why you now have many photos to her...??
may i know....??
but...
will i have answer...?
NO..
maybe that time u dont have mood..
but now u also seldom take pic with me...
aiyo....
dont think too much lah!!!!!!!
STUPID!!

tell tell tell...
also never change...
maybe i'm a thinking very kolot ppl...
but i really hope... wish... all the things...
never change....
remains...
but....
impossible....
why.....
the God want treat me bad.......
all the ppl like memperalatkan me...
i treat u all by heart.....
but u.....
disappointed....
i always tell myself:
appreciate all the ppl..
of course include family...
and friends too...
but u....?
how...?
never........
u never.....
maybe have....
before lo....
then now.....
you have new friends.........
i always think that....
why a ppl can change so fast.....?
many years friendship cant compare with one year....
no...
havent one year..
really upset.....
who really really care me.......
no...
only family...
i also know why i will like that....
is it i'm lesbian....?
no....
i can tell u that i'm not lesbian....
coz i know i love him.....
i just think that i want a close and close and close friend...
that is you.....
but...
is it ur close close close friend is me.....???
i know.... is no....
can i dont think again.....?
why human need have feel.....?
can human be very cool...?
no heart??
cruel....?
feel make me suffer.......

long time no write something in here lo.....
everytime unhappy but dunno should share with who so write in here.....
just now u call me ask got go to school.....?
but no...
today i stay at home....
haiz....
why i dont go leh...
aiyo....
everytime u call me but i at home....
this is the second times....
haiz.....
hope next time we really can meet each other lah....!!
haha...

yesterday i scold ppl oh...
of course i pretend de lah!!
my frens said i very funny wo....
haiz...
but also got somebody said well done!!
my job need very strict!
if not they all will do wrong...!!
then the new juniors come how the seniors teach?!
we need to change it faster before the new members join!
but dunno they had get our msg or not???
they just only know how to write it down!
they just only concentrate when the leader give work!
but when work....
play play!!
irresponsible!!
pls serious ok.....?
although this all are not ur things!
but ur work u need to complete well!!
haiz...
hope i wont scold them next time...

i back from far place... then join you all... but...
u always together with her..
i tell myself...
dont so selfish!
u also have ur own friends!
ok...
better....
but take that photo.....
u and her take the biggest...
i know just 2 bigger..
but u never ask me i wan or not.....
then u take it.....
maybe u know i sad.......
so try to talk with me....
i dunno what i want....
confuse....
dizzy.........
i try to forget all the bad thing.......
try to remember the good memory.......
try...
just try..
also same.........
i really dunno what i want..........................
i should apprecciate...
i shouldnt want too many thing....
i should think ur feel...
but....
who care me...?
who think about me..?
God...................

today see u eh...
excited...
u look very sweat...
haha!!
then i ask u wanna drink my water?
u said dont...
then we chat...
but nothing chat...
i ask u wanna drink my water again...
u say yes...
then i give u...
but u just kidding...
i paksa u receive...
haha!!
then they saw it...
so embarres...
begin worry they know my secret...
and worry u know...
how...
how should i do.....
pretend nothing...?
or dont want talking with u...?
i dont want they talk about me and u...
cause i know u have favourite girl...

annoy lah.....
i just wanna maintain our relationship like this...
wish never change...
sorry...

today have many things occurs...
wanna share with u...
but have many ppl...
many friends around us...
no...
just u...
when recess...
all go eat together...
we have less time chat...
finally today teacher have meeting...
so i free early...
but u wanna eat with them...
then i also need to help teacher do something...
so we still cant together...
haiz...
why i said like we are couple...?
haha!!
BUT....
we also back together...
and smile together....
funny ya...
haha!!
just few minutes...
maybe just 2 minutes...
but i satisfied....
really...
i know we cant together when recess...
when in hall...
dont said in class... cause we different class...
so i always hope we can together after school...
this can say is my last chance...
hope next time we also can like today lah...
friendship forever...!!!!
yahooooooooo.....!!!!!!!!!

they always said u and her...
somebody said she like u...
also have somebody said u like her too...
but i notice that QQ like u also...
confuse...
but this all are they said...
actually who is ur favourite...?
may i know...?
maybe they all just ur friends...
maybe u just treat them as ur friends...
maybe u also treat me as ur friend...
sometimes...
wanna play with u...
wanna have ur attraction on me...
wanna u care about me...
but always worry they know i like u...
dunno doing what...
also dunno what i want...
love...
is it important...?
dunno...
somebody think that it all part of life...
but so far...
i just a student...
i still studying...
should i focus on it...?
dunno...
sometimes i wish... or dream...
u like me too...
haha...
just dream...
in fact...
impossible..............
really impossible...........
why i will falling in love with u...
so many ppl in the world...
but i choose u...
fool..........